The Sailor’s Demise

How am I supposed to know when I find the one?

They say it’ll be fun

But what if it comes and goes like the light of a lighthouse

out in the dark ocean blue?

A light I can see

but I can never quite reach to

I hope it’s not like death

I hope I’m not exhausted and mauled

I hope our love doesn’t take a great fall

Capsized into the dark ocean blue,

Regretting every moment spent with you

Now my emotions are resurfacing and yet,

I feel like I’m asphyxiating

Falling deeper into the pool

I so desperately tried to subdue

I’m dying

How easily it rolls off the tongue…

Just a minute

On the shoulder of a diver I am slung

This should be relieving,

the small voice in my head sung

But this new situation felt far too young,

and I don’t trust the place

where I am currently hung

I would rather succumb to the warm and comforting darkness,

to feel the familiarity that I came from

But even so,

the pressure of it all is so heavily felt on my lungs

The lack of oxygen is suffocating

It’s frightening and fear inducing,

which is what the diver also ends up deducing

And soon I feel a rebreather

wrap around my face with expertise and speed

I relax

as my body floods with ease

A feeling I haven’t felt in years

I can finally breathe

The currents slow,

the air bubbles clear,

and at last,

the water now seems serene

with its shades of blue and teal

I start to see the wildlife

Corals of red, green and purple

And, strangely,

I start to feel hopeful

Hopeful that this could be the start of something different

That I’ll feel free as a bird

Staring down into the deep ocean blue

and thinking

From here, it’s quite a nice view